common question asked by parents, what is separation anxiety?
When a child is taken to an unknown place or person, they feel this anxiety. A child feels that they will be left by their parents. Their parents won’t come back to take them. There is a fear of losing which is termed as separation anxiety. A child is too small to form opinion. They get this anxiety due to the trust they have formed towards their parents. You might feel a child is very social; he goes to everyone, plays with everyone. But suddenly one day he is very cranky and not ready to leave you at all.
This is a phase every toddler passes through. It is the time when a child is introduced to a school. Where they have to leave their comfort zone and go to a new and unknown environment. A child needs counseling and support of parents. Separation anxiety can be overcome only with the help of parents. Because a child fears to lose them. So parents need to make them understand that they will be there no matter what happens. It is only for some time that they have to leave them and play.
A child needs to grow and has to come out of it in a subtle way. If a child is not ready at all, give a break. Try it after some time. The younger the child the better it is. Try taking the child to public places like park and let the child explore himself. Observe them but don’t help them unnecessarily. A child has the capacity of learning themselves with guidance. So keep yourself available where you feel it is needed.
Let the child be used to strangers, unknown places. I have met so many moms who share their experience about separation anxiety.
Things to keep in mind:
- Give your child time. Let the child be used to place, people, they need to build confidence towards the unknown people.
- Talk to them. Educate your child about the new environment. Don’t think they are small and don’t understand. They will understand.
- Appreciate the child. Even a small amount of time the child is able to spend without you they need to be appreciated for it.
- Build trust. Your child will let you go if they trust that you will come back. It is their love for you. So maintain the trust.
- Let the child enjoy, don’t compare your child with other. Some might take less time, some might take more time. Every child has their own understanding and we need to appreciate. As a parent we need to give the right stimulus to them.
Every child grows yours will grow too. Just be patient and enjoy and handle each moment the way it comes. Anything and everything can be overcome by unconditional love. Separation anxiety too can be overcome with it. Just give your child some time. One of my friend Ruchita she used to worry a lot about her son, he used to like going to school and never used to cry. Suddenly after a year or more. He started crying daily, that he doesn’t want to go to school. My friend was tensed as why is this happening now. Then she started talking to him and his teachers. She understood that her son is feeling little bored of the routine. So, she started educating him about the importance of going to school and she took the tough decision of not melting with his tears. And she continued sending him to school in spite of him crying. She stayed back in the school, sometimes nearby and in few days he adjusted and started it normally.
Everything falls into place with determination. Have faith in yourself and your child. Children go through different phases at different time. Separation anxiety is one of them.